For most of us, bereavement will be one of the most distressing experiences we will face. People feel grief in different ways. You may be feeling shock, anger, pain, guilt, depression or longing for life to be as it was. Grieving is a process. Here are some of the stages you may have already experienced.
At the start there may be feelings of shock. A natural response to this is to be in denial, which can mask some of the other feelings you might have.
Eventually, the denial wears off. As this happens, there may be feelings of anger and pain.
Bargaining is a normal reaction to feelings of helplessness and vulnerability. You might find that you are telling yourself that there is something you or someone else could have done. There may be feelings of unreasonable guilt.
After you have moved out of the initial stage of consuming grief, you may have feelings of sadness. With emotions taking charge making life difficult, it is important to get help, either by contacting your GP or a counsellor.
At some point you will reach a sense of acceptance and be able to start looking forward. This does not mean that you didn't love the person or that you have forgotten them. You might feel under pressure to reach this stage before you are ready.
One of the hardest things to face is how other people react to us — they often don't know what to say. You might feel under pressure to "get better" before you are ready. This becomes especially hard as time goes on and everyone else seems to have forgotten the person you miss, and that you are still grieving.
It is important that you are able to talk to someone about how you feel. For many people this can be difficult, as those closest to them may also be affected. Counselling provides someone impartial, experienced and caring to listen to you and help you.
In the 25 years that I have been a counsellor in Hitchin, I have helped many people to grieve for the person that have lost and look to the future. Why not give me a call today to find out how I can help you?